Chasing Blessings

It is a beautiful (understatement) spring day here. Sunny, breezy, warm weather. Azaleas, dogwoods and daisies in profusion. lovely.

Bug and I spent the morning on a long walk with a friend and then stayed outside playing until lunchtime. (Bug is all about the tricycle these days.) On a day like today, it's hard not to feel blessed. Life's true pleasures are simple but rich, aren't they?

Yes, today I feel blessed. Of course, we really are always blessed, but sometimes my feelings don't align with this truth. Sometimes, I find myself striving, wishing, waiting for the next milestone (Baby 2), promotion (go, Hunk, go), purchase (new couch, pleeeease?), vacation (Colorado in a month!).... But the constant longing for future blessings causes me to miss out on the blessings of NOW. And NOW is where life really is, you know?

Reminds me of a Joyce Meyer devotional Hunk has had taped on the bathroom mirror for years:

"Instead of chasing after blessings, we need to chase after God. If we chase God, He will chase us with blessings.... If we want blessings, we must get our mind off of them. God knows what we want and what we need."

So, today, I am not chasing blessings. I am just committing to chase the present moment. And to chase a little Bug on his tricycle.

Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the (wo)man whom You choose and cause to come near. Psalm 65:4

Knowing Your True Self

When I was expecting Bug, the most common comment I received when people would gawk at my over-sized belly was, "Oh boy, things are about to CHANGE!" They always said it like that was a bad thing, like I should go fill my pantry with canned goods and hole up for the inevitable nuclear fallout I was about to experience.

They were right that things did change when Bug was born. Everything changed! But, and I know every mom out there would agree, my life changed for the better. It morphed into something richer and deeper than I knew possible. As cliched as that sounds, it is so inexplicably true.

I honestly feel like I am more "myself" now than I have ever been, and while I am not sure if my comfort in my own skin is due to becoming Mommy, to having recently completed another decade in my life (grrr), or just to natural maturity, it feels nice to be a little more kindred with myself.

Here is a prayer by George Appleton, shared with me by a dear confidante and mentor, which speaks to this...

Give me a candle of the
Spirit, O God,
as I go down into the
deep of my own being.

Show me the hidden things,
Take me down
to the spring of my life,
and tell me my nature
and my name.

Give me the freedom to
grow so that I may
become my true self,
the fulfillment of the
seed which You planted
in me at my making.

Out of the deep
I cry unto thee, O God.

Amen.

Here's to learning our natures and our names. Here's to becoming our true selves.